Why let another day go by feeling out of control just hoping to get through to the end of the day so you can do the same thing tomorrow? Why scramble for names to cold call, new prospects to solicit and other markets to tackle when you are not even staying in touch with your existing clients?

I know why, it is because this is the way you have always done things. Sure, you have heard of other ways to handle business and life. You may have even attended a seminar or two or ten where you got excited. You came away determined to change and BAM! life hit you in the face. E-mails piled up, voice mails just kept coming, the car broke down and that deadline just got moved up. So, the nifty notebook and other materials that you were so fired up about found their way to the bookshelf right next to the others sitting there gathering dust.

Sound familiar? Don't be surprised, millions of us wake up and handle every day just like I described above. And you know what? Life does have a way of hitting us in the face. But, trust me; it does not have to be this way. I have lived this; I was the king of crisis mode mistaking activity with progress. My customers were not getting the attention they deserved. For that matter, neither was my family or friends. After all, can't they see that I am busy! Unfortunately they can see, but what they see is that I am too busy for them and certainly too busy to handle that referral they wanted to give.

Self sabotage, it is time to stop. For me, I discovered that the relationship must come first and from that business and revenue will follow. No, it is not easy to move from crisis mode and self sabotage to a relational business and way of life. The good news is that all of us can do it.

Here are a few tips to get you started:

Listen

We all learn to talk at a very young age. Just after it is cute it can become very annoying with non-stop jabber. What we do not learn to do is listen. Start today listening more and saying less. Be there; focus 100% on what you are hearing. Put down the BlackBerry, ignore the e-mail, put the phone on silent - not vibrate, and take some notes. You will be amazed at what you learn. Your clients will tell you what they want and need - if you will listen to them.

Be a Trusted Ally™

Are you a needy salesperson or a Trusted Ally™? The needy salesperson tries to sell whatever they have regardless of whether the client really needs it or if it is the best fit for them. The Trusted Ally™ will take time to understand what the clients needs are and will tailor the sales and product to them. Even if it means passing up the sale. What! Pass up a sale? - You bet; it is called trust and character.

Remember the 80/20 rule

Sure, you have heard this before. 80% of business comes from 20% of your customers. Guess what else? 80% of your pain comes from the bottom 20% of your customers. This bottom 20% is sucking the life out of you. They are a needy bunch and you would be far better off methodically eliminating them while adding more clients that resemble your top 20%.

Get Help

Lastly, don't try this alone because odds are you will fail. Make an investment of your time, effort and money in a quality training program that has a coaching component. Coaching is what separates the wannabe's from the successful. Just as the best athletes in the world have coaches, so do the best and most successful business people.

You can change. You can have balance back with less stress and more productivity. It is up to you.